May 18 – “Are you really happy or are you just comfortable”

are you happy

 

 

 

One of my favourite quotes is “Are you really happy or are you just comfortable”

This quote has resonated a lot with me recently and has been on my mind!

In this day and age it is very easy to live a comfortable life going with the flow because things just work and you don’t have to think too much. Nowadays it is very easy to fall into this mundane life which we believe makes us happy but does it truly? Or is it we are just afraid to take risks? Push ourselves out of our comfort zones or give second chances because we are afraid to get hurt or fail when actually things might just work out even better than you expected?

But what makes us veer away from taking chances and using our brain to block out thoughts, feelings and things that could be great?

Our minds are clever things that help us to protect ourselves when we are not sure what might happen as an end result of a particular action. This is understandable; why would we put ourselves into a position where we might get hurt, might fail or might not achieve? Well why not! Surely when life is so short we should take a chance, push ourselves or even allow a second chance?

In theory this is correct, but our mind as I said before has a great way of shutting things out and using denial or fear to help us to feel better about our choices.

“I will do this because it’s what is for the best” meaning I will not take that risk even if I want to because I might get hurt and this is easier and this is what I believe I should do.

“If I stay in this job or relationship its easier because it just works and it won’t cause me any hassle or pain”. Easy and mundane only stays easy and enjoyable for so long, until it becomes boring, then what? You will stick at it because it works and you missed other chances but you will never truly be happy and always wonder what if?

“I’m not going to try that move at CrossFit because I’ll never be able to do it or I’m scared I may fail”; how will you know if you don’t try?

Denial and de-compartmentalising are wonderful tools and work well for many especially in the short term helping you to become less vulnerable but only for the short term. Denial has a funny way of coming back to a lot of us and biting us on the arse! Denial helps create short-term happiness at the expense of true long-term happiness!

So why do we do this? Why do we allow ourselves to overlook long-term happiness or achievement for the short term? Good question! It takes a really strong person to own up and say “I did something wrong, maybe the timing was not right first time round, I’m going to make myself overcome a fear, put myself in a situation I may not like or even potentially make a fool of myself.”

Feelings can be scary but I strongly believe they should be dealt with as they arise instead of allowing our bodies to disconnect from them and push them to one side as from previous experience they just come back, but even worse!

I am someone who believes in taking risks and doing things even if they are scary or may lead to me being in a vulnerable position or getting hurt, because I always believe life is too short!

I do, however, realise that we are not all the same and people cope differently.  Some people pretend things aren’t happening or just go with the flow, sticking with easy and convenient but I believe this never truly leads to happiness, just settling and taking the easy option!

If you:

Wake up begrudging going to work but carry on because it’s easy

Have someone on your mind

Fear something

Ask yourself if you made the right decision about something

Are currently just going with the flow because it’s easy

Are scared to give second chances at the expense of potentially getting hurt but gaining something great

Are scared to try that new move at the gym

Etc

Then maybe you need to have a think and ask yourself

“Am I really happy or just comfortable? I may be happy now but will this last? Have I made the right decision? Should I be where I am?”

If you are questioning any of the above then my answer to you is maybe you are not happy, just comfortable? In denial? Or just ignoring how you feel deep down inside?

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